One of the many things this global pandemic has tested is our investment and evaluation of personal relationships and friendships.  

We wonder how our former flames or estranged friends are doing during this unprecedented time. Should we reach out or just overthink the dynamic of that relationship altogether?  Spending more time with ourselves forces us to consider some of our missteps.  We’re either reaching out to those we have wronged or receiving messages from people we thought we would never hear from again.

During this time, however, it is important to evaluate if you might be re-opening a door to a toxic relationship for the sake of “closure”.  In most relationships—romantic or platonic—receiving closure is difficult. It is something only you can really create for yourself.  One last conversation. One last meeting. One last message.  None of it can be enough to effortlessly close a chapter of what was once a great relationship or friendship. That requires work, inner work.

We’re feeling either lonely, regretful, fearful, anxious, confused…the list goes on. It feels much easier to reach out to someone you miss and try to make amends.  But rushing back into something that wasn’t working to begin with could have worse consequences on our emotional well-being.  We should instead work on healing ourselves, focus on making peace and move on.  

It’s perfectly fine to continue to love someone, however, love alone isn’t always enough to mend a broken relationship.  Sometimes we have to choose our overall happiness, and love ourselves more than the other party. Idolizing the potential in a friendship or relationship doesn’t serve either person in the relationship.  

These are hard times, but we have to learn how to remove ourselves from situations and people that don’t inspire or even encourage our growth.  If they don’t match or—better yet—elevate your energy, your aspirations and your love, then you should align yourself with people and things that do! 

Toxicity in relationships runs rampant because one or both parties are unaware of the unhealthy patterns and they’re always seeking the feel-good high that comes from the good moments.  You shouldn’t chase someone or make someone chase you because in chasing others we lose ourselves. It is not solely one person’s job to save a relationship, it is hard work and uncomfortable conversations.  During these moments of thought and evaluation we should establish healthy boundaries, get in tune with our needs, and accept ourselves flaws and all. 

It is difficult to avoid being codependent during these unpredictable global events.  However, this is also a great time to realize that some relationships can’t be explained and most of the things other people say and do are about them and not you.

The world is changing and our lives are changing with it. We will lose love and we will lose friends.  Nevertheless, if you invest in yourself and your happiness the broken pieces will mend themselves. Before you realize it you will be stronger, wiser and ready to receive the love and friendship you truly deserve.