When I was 13, I would spend my days fantasizing about disappearing into the woods and never looking back. As I near 29, the desire to chuck my phone into a lake and run away has only intensified. We live in a time where people document every single minute of their lives; myself included. Although, it seems like the new thing to do is not have social media altogether. Something that, realistically and especially for artists and small businesses, we cannot all do. So, while I can’t delete my presence online, I realized I could jump offline and take a break. 

I decided to disappear online and offline for a week.

One day, before I could let the fear sneak in and talk me out of it, I closed my eyes and bought tickets to the first places that popped into my head: Savannah and Charleston. I needed a healthy dose of romance and both of these cities screamed romance. In all honesty, I would have left for longer than a week but had to return for the 2nd dose of the vaccine.

My best comes when I’m somewhere no one knows me and, maybe, that’s what I needed.

The first step was to do all the research on traveling safely during this pandemic. My family and friends sighed in relief when I told them I would have my phone and laptop on me during this trip. I would have left them at home if it wasn’t for work obligations and the grad school application I had to complete. This wasn’t my first disappearing act and I’m pretty sure this made them pretty nervous. 

It turned out the beauty of the trip came from the fact that I found myself eating and drinking alone, but was never lonely. I spoke with strangers about their lives and made new friends. They offered wonderful advice on how to get back to me. In addition, I lucked out! My Airbnb host was the best host a single woman traveler could have asked for. 

To stay safe, I stayed in protected neighborhoods and shared my location with my family and friends before I left. I made a conscious decision to deactivate my social media and only responded to grad school emails or urgent work tasks. As for my online presence, I made sure to keep my iPhone in Airplane Mode and, when I needed the internet, I flipped it to Do Not Disturb. The good thing about Do Not Disturb is that your location updates for loved ones which gives you that extra layer of safety when you’re alone in a strange city.

The one day I gave myself permission to fully engage with my phone was on my birthday. My mother would not be happy if I didn’t answer her call. Latina moms calling more than once can be scary! Minus the calls, I spent my birthday alone and it was the greatest gift I could have given myself.

Disappearing meant that all the noise coming from everyone else (online and off) could be turned off.

Disappearing meant allowing myself the chance to fully see what was hurting within. I know not many of us can drop our lives and disappear. Technically, I couldn’t fully do it because I still had obligations, but, honestly, try to carve out a moment to disappear. I know you didn’t ask for my advice, but here it is. 

Turn off social media. 
Turn off your phone completely. 
Go on a walk. Go on a day trip. 
Use your vacation time. It’s there for a reason. 
Take your laptop if you have to work remotely. 
If you have kids, ask your spouse or family to watch them. 

You are not selfish for needing a minute to yourself. There’s a reason flight attendants tell you to place your mask first before assisting others. You cannot be there for everyone when the gas tank is empty.

I came to realize I was disappearing in this modern landscape. Disappearing to a world that’s constantly ON. I didn’t have a chance to see who I was and how I was feeling. I was too busy trying to see who I was to everyone else. Leaving everything behind, if only for a moment, gave me the opportunity to see who I was to myself. 

If this resonates with you, check out below some suggestions on how you can prepare to disappear for a week. 

 Send me a DM at @janettevalenzo if you need help adjusting. 

Safe travels!

Packing List:

  • Clothes (enough for a week, you can mix and match, check the weather)
  • Extra underwear and a sports bra because you never know. 
  • Socks. Pack 2 more than you actually think you will need. 
  • Toiletries
  • Make-up (optional)
  • Mosquito repellant and/or sunscreen (not optional depending on location)
  • Journal + extra pens
  • Polaroid camera (optional)
  • Hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes
  • Reusable water bottles
  • Masks (2-4)

Pre-Trip:

  • Print or write out directions to where you’re staying.
  • Set travel alerts on your credit & debit cards.
  • Carry cash.
  • Create an “out of the office” automatic email response, voicemail greeting, and Do Not Disturb message (you can do this on iPhones through Do Not Disturb While Driving mode).
  • Tell at least one person where you’re going.
  • Ask your sibling to watch your cat or get a backpack to bring them along.
  • *BONUS* Burner phone to really get the offline experience.

During Trip:

  • Don’t post anything.
  • Take lots of pictures.
  • Sit at the bar and talk to the people there.
  • Buy some ice cream and watch people on a park bench. 
  • Ask someone to take a photo of you enjoying the moment. 

Post-Trip:

  • Journal about what you learned on this trip.
  • Share the pictures, if you want of course. 
  • Thank your family and friends for being so understanding.